Born into white slavery and raised by wolves until my teen years.  I grew tired of my lupine parental units and their inability to let me stay up late and always eating my friends. (Made it hard to get dates)  I then went out in search of greener pastures.  I soon realized that greener pastures were gay, so I settled in South Dakota. WTF??? 

In South Dakota I learned that collecting and playing guitar was pretty fucking cool!  So I collected 4 George Lynch guitars including Mr Scary, plus an Yngwie Malmsteen Strat, and Eddie VH 5150 and learned to play....kind of...I mean I'm still learning so I still suck pretty much! HA!  But 80's Metal is in my blood and what makes me wanna fuck! HAHA!!! no really...

Anypoopers, another big love of mine is writing.  Mostly mindless comedy shit that I just blurt out randomly like a fat kid with Tourettes Syndrome!  Cool huh?  Yeah well, anyway, I write part time for a little show called RedEye on FNC late night.  Mostly intros and stuff.  An example is RedEye:  It's like sex without the lube!  I also enjoy keeping houseboys and abusing them daily.  Javier and JoJo have grown accustomed to living in the basement dressed in a shorty robe and ball gag.  I have in fact just finished their "re-education" and they are now "resting".  HA!